


Hey, if we're underwater, how can there be a group chat?

by ColorlessPalette



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Group chat, Pop Culture, Swearing, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2020-10-06 17:09:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20510546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorlessPalette/pseuds/ColorlessPalette
Summary: Spingebill discovers the wonders of technology.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First group chat fic, hope you hate it!

[KarenBot has created a group chat]

SheldonJ: What is the meaning of this

KarenBot: A Fine Way To Greet Your Wife…

SheldonJ: What? A guy can’t question his partner anymore?

SheldonJ: …

SheldonJ: I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY WE HAVE BEEN ADDED

SheldonJ: ANSWER ME WOMAN

KarenBot: You’re On Thin Ice, Mister.

$$$Krabz$$$: somebody get me out of here

SheldonJ: No

$$$Krabz$$$: you’re the last person I want to see notifications from

KarateMaster69: Can y’all chill? My phones going off faster than a jackrabbit on a sizzling summer day

Canned Bread: what

$$$Krabz$$$: lol 69

username: i don’t get it

AbsorbentNYellow: There’s nothing to get, Pat.

Karen: Oh… You Innocent Creatures...

$$$Krabz$$$: well ye see me boys… when a man and a women love each other very much...

KarateMaster69: DON’T YOU DARE

SheldonJ: “women”

AbsorbentNYellow: I’m confused

Canned Bread: I guess ignorance really can be bliss

username: why are we here

KarenBot: I Wanted To Test Out Some Things... The Best Way Would Be To Create A Chatroom.

$$$Krabz$$$: why tho

KarenBot: It Is A Way We Could Connect.

Canned Bread: why you over here texting like Jaden Smith

AbsorbentNYellow: Who?

Canned Bread: That guy who capitalizes the first letter of every sentence

KarenBot: Programming Error. It’s Annoying, I Know.

Canned Bread: Annoying is an understatement…

AbsorbentNYellow: Karen can’t help it, Squidward!

username: the inner machinations of karen’s programming are an enigma

Canned Bread: Patrick why is your username… username

username: that’s what it told me to enter

$$$Krabz$$$: You ought to make it your own, boy. Customize it!

username: like what

AbsorbentNYellow: Something that describes you.

SheldonJ: idiotic…

username: i don’t speak in fancy words, plankton.

SheldonJ: ?

KarenBot: Are You Thinking Of Idiom?

username: that’s it!

KarateMaster69: Okay what did I miss

AbsorbentNYellow: Where were you?

KarateMaster69: Oh I took a nap

KarateMaster69: Hibernation is coming soon

username: oh boy!

KarateMaster69: And you’d better stay FAR AWAY.

username: aww

username: welp, here goes nothing

[username has changed their username to pink]

$$$Krabz$$$: It’s an… improvement?

Canned Bread: um

pink: it describes me

AbsorbentNYellow: We’ll work on it later…

[pink has left the chat]

AbsorbentNYellow: BARNACLES

SheldonJ: What is it now?

AbsorbentNYellow: HE JUST SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE

AbsorbentNYellow: I LOOK UP AND HE’S STARING THROUGH THE GLASS

Canned Bread: I’m outta here

[Canned Bread has left the chat]

AbsorbentNYellow: Same

AbsorbentNYellow: Gotta help Pat with his username

[AbsorbentNYellow has left the chat]

$$$Krabz$$$: Well then… I guess that just leaves us

SheldonJ: nope

[SheldonJ has left the chat]

$$$Krabz$$$: Don’t let the digital door hit you on your way out

[$$$Krabz$$$ has left the chat]

KarenBot: ...Perhaps This Was A Mistake…

KarateMaster69: Probably

KarateMaster69: …

KarateMaster69: Most likely.


	2. Chapter 2

SheldonJ: Guys I found this really cool song

SheldonJ: https://youtu.be/CK05FtoHA3s 

SheldonJ: Pls listen to it 

$$$Krabz$$$: er... 

$$$Krabz$$$: Ye have interesting music taste, Plankton

SheldonJ: huh?

SheldonJ: Oh goddammit not again

SheldonJ: THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS I STG

KarenBot: Sheldon J Plankton... What Did We Say About Swearing?

$$$Krabz$$$: oooooh snap

AbsorbantNYellow: I feel like I’ve heard that song before but I can’t remember where

SheldonJ: You really expect me to remember everything that goes on in my life

KarenBot: We Have Explicitly Talked About This Many Times Now.

AbsorbantNYellow: Is it just me?

KarateMaster69: Maybe you heard it in a dream?

Canned Bread: Shut up Spongebob

SheldonJ: But they swear too!

KarenBot: Are “They” Married To Me?

SheldonJ: Fuck your swearing rules

KarenBot: ...

[$$$Krabz$$$ has left the chat]

Canned Bread: uh oh sisters

Impinkandalsoaninvertabrate: good morning krusty krew!

Impinkandalsoaninvertabrate: does anybody want to play game pigeon with me  


AbsorbantNYellow: Not a good time, Pat.

Impinkandalsoaninvertabrate: oh sorry

Canned Bread: What in god’s name is that monstrosity of a username

KarateMaster69: Don’t you want people to be able to read it? My head’s spinning from all them letters!

Canned Bread: I have a suggestion for you Patrick

AbsorbantNYellow: Oh goodie! Squiddy’s gonna help.

Canned Bread: go kys

Impinkandalsoaninvertabrate: ok

[Impinkandalsoaninvertabrate has changed their username to kys]

kys: whats it mean

Canned Bread: No that’s

Canned Bread: That’s not what I meant

KarateMaster69: Have you critters heard from Karen or Plankton in a while? I’m starting to get kind of worried.

AbsorbantNYellow: Yeah, Karen seemed pretty angry.

Canned Bread: She literally typed out three dots you simpering simpleton

[$$$Krabz$$$ has entered the chat]

$$$Krabz$$$: Is it safe now?

kys: safe from what?

SheldonJ: Yes Mr. Krabs, it is safe.

KarenBot: You Really Had Me Worried There. Why Did You Leave?

$$$Krabz$$$: Because I know what you’re like when you get angry, Karen.  


KarenBot: Angry? Who Is Angry?

SheldonJ: No one is angry.

Canned Bread: Im confused

kys: so we playing game pigeon or

AbsorbantNYellow: Oh sure thing! What are we playing?

kys: pool ball

KarateMaster69: How do you play that?

kys: whack the balls with your stick

AbsorbantNYellow: Let’s go play with our balls!

$$$Krabz$$$: hhhhhh

Canned Bread: bruh

AbsorbantNYellow: What? Was it something I said?

SheldonJ: I believe they are referring to what is called an innuendo, as described by my internal database

Canned Bread: Yeah

Canned Bread: Wait

KarenBot: What Is It, Squidward?

$$$Krabz$$$: Your… internal database?

KarenBot: Yes.

KarateMaster69: Plankton

SheldonJ: Yes?

KarateMaster69: Karen I need to ask you something

SheldonJ: What do you want to ask Sandy?

SheldonJ: …

SheldonJ: crap

$$$Krabz$$$: i knEW IT

Canned Bread: Where’s Plankton, Karen?

SheldonJ: I am right here

KarateMaster69: No you ain’t

KarenBot: I Don’t See What YooeLP ME SHE SG gine CRAZY

$$$Krabz$$$: oh hell no haunted malware imma head out

SheldonJ: 7329140ET^ R()_ UYHRQG@_+Q Y!&(TP QWHWRWGYW;; 

[$$$Krabz$$$ has left the chat]

[$$$Krabz$$$ has entered the chat]

[∏ÒÅN˚†ØN has Entéréd the chat]

kys: what’d we miss

kys: I won btw 

$$$Krabz$$$: SHIT

$$$Krabz$$$: I JUST SAW A FACE ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN

$$$Krabz$$$: HELLLLLLLL NOOOO

Canned Bread: fffffffffuC THAT

∏ÒÅN˚†ØN:: 01110111 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100111 01110101 01111001 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 01110010 01110011 01100101 01101100 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01101101 01101001 01110100 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100011 01100101 01101110 01110011 01101111 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01101110 01101111 01100011 01100101 01101110 01110100 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 10000000011001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100000 01100111 01101111 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100101 01111000 01101001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01101110 01100011 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01101100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01110011 01110111 01100101 01100001 01110010 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101111 01101000 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101000 01100001 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101111 01110000 01101001 01101110 01101001 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101100 00100000 01110011 01101111 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 10000000011001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101110 01101110 01100001 00100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110010 01110101 01101001 01101110 00100000 01101101 01111001 00100000 01100101 01101110 01110100 01101001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110010 01100101 01100101 01110010 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 10000000011001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100111 01101111 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01101011 01100001 01110010 01100101 01101110

AbsorbantNYellow: B A R N A C L E S

$$$Krabz$$$: swEET FATHER CTHULHU

kys: hmm

[Canned Bread has left the chat]

KarenBot: I Might Have Overreacted On My Husband  


$$$Krabz$$$: Ya think?!?!?!?!?!!!?

KarenBot: His Soul Has Been Imprisoned In CyberSpace.

∏ÒÅN˚†ØN:: 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110100 01110101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 01101100 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110011 01110011 00100000 01100001 01101110 01101001 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101100 01101111 01110100

KarateMaster69: why would you DO THAT

KarenBot: Like I said, I Overreacted. 

KarenBot: You Are Going To Have To Save Him Without My Help. With A Soul Contained In The Data, This Entire Group Chat Will Be Erased.

AbsorbantNYellow: Where do we start?!?!

KarenBot: Find The Tiµé µåç˙îñé

[KarenBot has lefffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttttttttttttTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT the chåt]

∏ÒÅN˚†ØN:: 01110011 01110111 01101111 01110010 01100100 00100000 01100001 01110010 01110100 00100000 01101111 01101110 01101100 01101001 01101110 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111

AbsorbantNYellow: She’s gone…

KarateMaster69: Reduced to code…

$$$Krabz$$$: And we ain’t got a clue where to start looking! Dammit Karen!

kys: anybody up for ping pong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> top ten saddest anime betrayals I guess. I don't know what the fuck im doing.


End file.
